it's difficult for me to write. I've been in a funk most of this summer it seems like. I'm lost.
Trying to be happy.
I haven't been myself lately. I'm not as out going, or friendly or hopeful. Some friends I just don't give a fuck about. Others I really do but I feel like I'm not showing that to them. Life's hard.
Wisconsin in 3 days. Get to get away from all of this shit, and see a good friend for the first time. : )
< 3
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
wow, it's been awhile.
So I realize it's been awhile since I update, and I do have a bit on my mind. First, just let me say MOVE was amazing. I won't try to describe it, cause I won't do it justice.
I had to push someone out of my life that I'm close to. But it's for the best for right now. Life is seasons, and hopefully down the road we can be friends. It sucks having that empty space though. It sucks getting over someone. I'm going to write about it for a few sentences, and then never again. Cause 4 years ago I wrote about it way too much. Actually fuck it, I'm not going to write at all. Just don't want to get hurt.
Every time I get real down and no one comes closer, I start to push people away. I start to treat the most vulnerable people like shit and push them away the most. I realized I started doing that again. But I think I've stopped. I had a good day today for the most part. I'm looking forward to a trip in 12 days, to Soulfest, and then school. I'm looking forward to interning for TWLOHA next summer. Yes I'll be interning.
I can't spend another summer at home. I'm so fucking miserable here. Mainly because of my family. Yeah, they are great, and I know they love me and care about me. But we don't understand each other, and it just doesn't work. I tell them I'm going to intern next summer and all they do is talk about money. I just wish they'd be happy for me for 2 seconds. I don't give a fuck about money when it's in comparison to doing things that I care about. And I have some good friends around here, but it's not a great community.
I'm lost. I'm not thinking how I normally do. Hopefully I find the track back on stuff soon.
UChapter officer meeting the other day though, that kinda felt like home.
Take care until next time,
< 3
I had to push someone out of my life that I'm close to. But it's for the best for right now. Life is seasons, and hopefully down the road we can be friends. It sucks having that empty space though. It sucks getting over someone. I'm going to write about it for a few sentences, and then never again. Cause 4 years ago I wrote about it way too much. Actually fuck it, I'm not going to write at all. Just don't want to get hurt.
Every time I get real down and no one comes closer, I start to push people away. I start to treat the most vulnerable people like shit and push them away the most. I realized I started doing that again. But I think I've stopped. I had a good day today for the most part. I'm looking forward to a trip in 12 days, to Soulfest, and then school. I'm looking forward to interning for TWLOHA next summer. Yes I'll be interning.
I can't spend another summer at home. I'm so fucking miserable here. Mainly because of my family. Yeah, they are great, and I know they love me and care about me. But we don't understand each other, and it just doesn't work. I tell them I'm going to intern next summer and all they do is talk about money. I just wish they'd be happy for me for 2 seconds. I don't give a fuck about money when it's in comparison to doing things that I care about. And I have some good friends around here, but it's not a great community.
I'm lost. I'm not thinking how I normally do. Hopefully I find the track back on stuff soon.
UChapter officer meeting the other day though, that kinda felt like home.
Take care until next time,
< 3
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