Winter in New England

It's getting cold outside. Snow hasn't lied itself on the ground yet, but it will soon. This is an interesting time of year for me. I've especially lately become more fascinated with nature. This fall has meant motorcycle rides up to Newport to sit and stare out at the ocean. I'm not quite sure what winter means for me right now. It's a time of year that people spend more of inside. These four walls are getting to me. This is the time of year where it's great to have someone to cuddle up next to. But not all of us have that.

I know that I will always love people. Yesterday I grabbed coffee with a friend. On the ride home, we blasted music and sang our hearts out. It was the most alive I've felt in a while. I love interacting with people, and going out and exploring. I'm excited to get back to college, to be around people. That's one of the best things about college, the community in it. There are always people doing spontaneous, exciting, new things. It's so easy to meet new people.

I don't really know what else to write right now, but I want to write something. I want to give more, and to feel more connected. I want these words to feel like a hug for someone. I think that would be nice. One thing that has remained constant for me over the past few years is that I want to share my life and this journey with others. I want to inspire and support as many people as I can. I care. I genuinely care; and nobody's perfect, but I do try. Damn it, I just want to make this world a little better of a place before my time is up.

I don't know what my future holds, but I feel like it's something big. I'm a leader. Not everyone can get up and speak in front of hundreds of people, organize and run things with as much passion and hard work as I have. I have some gifts and I'm hoping I learn the best ways to use them. The non-profit world is sounding very promising. Now, I think it's time to read and then get some sleep.

I hope tomorrow brings you happiness, and a warm, bear like hug from someone you care about.

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My mind is racing

So many things I'm excited for in the future are getting closer and closer.

The next two days will be relaxing and enjoyable, which will be good after the week I had. I'm thankful for meeting new people. It's always fun asking questions; it's the best way to get to know people. I think that's something I've become pretty good at over the years, asking questions. It's humbling, in the sense that you are more interested in what you can learn than what you can teach someone. I like conversations that are full of questions.

There are many good friends in Lowell I can't wait to hang out with.

Going to try to get some sleep.

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"I get by with a little help from my friends"

It's kinda of like a born again type of thing....
I read about Love about a week ago before I went to bed. A book by Leo. The next morning I woke up in a wonderful mood. I'm continuing to read, and wake up in wonderful moods. I'm proud and content with the person I am. I'm so thankful for the people in my life right now. My friends are amazing. Yes, I miss some friends in Lowell, and Florida, but I have good friends around here, and I have people that I can text, call, skype and stay in touch with. It's great to feel like you're sharing you're day with someone. Wether it's a person you are hanging out with, or just talking to about stuff.

Yesterday I sat on a bench staring out at the Boston Harbor with Logan airport behind it. My best friend was next to me. We were just talking and taking it all in. Every time a plane flew off I said bye. I thought about how many people where on each flight. Wondered where they were heading and why they were going there. Excited to go on a vacation, or flying back towards loved ones struggling with heavy hearts. Some probably felt so alone. I remember the last time I was flying back to Florida when I lived down there. With about a half hour left in the flight, I took my headphones off. I started having a great conversation with the gentleman next to me. Talking about Florida, where we were from, and sharing experiences in life. It was nice. I decided that when I go back to Florida in Jan, I'm really going to try to have a conversation with someone on the flights. I talk so much about how I want to reach out, share love, and know others. I don't practice as much as I preach, and that's something I'm trying to work on.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I have hurt many people in my life. I know I have done things that I shouldn't have. Things that have hurt myself, others, and made this world a little less of a good place. But I also know that tomorrow is a new day. And that gives anyone and everyone the chance to be a leader. To step up and start out a new, fresh start. I wake up to the singing of the words "It's a new day" every morning.

I have very recently learned to accept that sometimes we just need to let certain people out of our lives. Not everyone on this earth can connect nor live in harmony with each other. People experience life in different ways, and chance at different paces. Sometimes it doesn't all add up. This can hurt to accept, but it can make us all healthier individuals. I remember a quote that Leo had heard, "If we can love each other, can we at least not hurt?". Is that beautiful to live by or what? I think so.

There are beautiful people around you with kind hearts that can share the joys, pains, questions and all parts of life in harmony with you. Or at least only a half step off. But it still sounds pretty good. Hug hard. Smile even when you're not sure if you should. Have hope. Live with passion in your heart.
I want to make this world a better place and fill it with more love. Let's make this journey into a movement that will be remembered forever.

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Winter

And I feel like my head is full of nothing but questions....

Tuesday can't come soon enough.

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Life is simple and boring right now... and I'm learning to be okay with that

I play xbox a lot. I only have a couple of friends around here that I hang out with, and I'm so broke that I can't really afford to drive up to Boston or Lowell to see friends (I could, but I'm choosing to go back to FL in a month instead, and I must save up!). Getting a few more hours at work, which helps. I was in a funk for a little while. But I woke up this morning and I was in a good mood. I think it really has a lot to do with the fact that I read before I went to sleep last night. More so what I read about, love and human nature, than the fact that I read. But it was really nice. I woke up with hope today and a smile. It was raining but I was fine with that.
I don't have a lot of passion in my life right now. I don't feel super connected, and I can't say I have a ton of things that make me feel alive. This is temporary, and I know that. Life is a long journey, and not all of it can be awesome and super exciting.
As I said before, I'm learning to love the little things more. I went out to dinner with my dad tonight. I can't say it was a bad day after typing that sentence. The only constant in our lives is change.

I have a poster of a Shuttle taking off from the Kennedy Space Center in my room. I wake up every morning with the reminder that dreaming isn't just only okay, but necessary in life.

Here's to hoping for a good hug tomorrow.

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Believe

I want to believe in something again with my whole heart. I want to feel needed, wanted, and useful. Somebody walk into my life, or walk further in if you're already a part of it.

Right now.

UP



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