Life=awesome

I hope you can relate. In a week, school will be done, papers will be getting finished up, and summer will feel just around the bend. < 3

Breathe in, Breathe out

I feel like I should be happier. I have everything. I have a great job, an awesome girlfriend, classes are going fine, I've gone surfing this past week. I think I miss feeling as relaxed, alive, and connected with things as I did in Florida. I think surfing has shown me how unconnected I am. I saw a friend yesterday I hadn't seen in a month or two. "I thought you'd be out of here and back in Florida by now." I feel like maybe I should be. I told myself I'd only have a year of school to finish when I came back, but I was wrong. It's longer. And I'm stuck here, in this city. There are good things to this, like going to open mics downtown, and being around college friends. But it's difficult to be in touch with nature. It's difficult to feel relaxed. I feel like I forgot what relaxed is. Relaxed isn't sitting in front of the T.V. playing xbox. It's sitting on the beach, or sitting on my surf board watching the beauty of the ocean as it surrounds me. I know part of the reason I'm feeling like this is because I've had a weird sleep schedule this week. This is something I need to work on. But I guess I feel like there are other things I could improve on/ would like to see changed: I wish I had a surfing buddy. Someone that I could share this passion with. Go out with, talk about it. Someone that will get it because they experience it with me, ya know? I feel like I'm just going through the motions in regard to classes and school. What's odd about that is I feel like I don't have as much of an urge as I usually do to just up go on an adventure. I think this has to do with a girl, and change takes time. I need to clean my apartment. Like hardcore clean it and organize my room. I will probably feel better after this is done. I said last week that I think I want to go back to counseling. Mainly because of this new job, and so I can have someone to talk to about stuff with the job. But I think there are other reasons and things that made me say this, and I'm not really sure what they are. I think I need sleep. Especially seeing I'm working 16 hours tomorrow. Good night world. <3

Real Life

It's difficult to come home and feel like all of your friends are out drinking when you just left working at a place in which alcohol has hurt the lives of so many.

I'm so nervous for next Friday. I want to be so fucking good at this job. I want to have a huge impact. I want patients to remember me, because that's how I'll know I'm doing a good job.

<3