I saw eight deer on my block coming home tonight.

It happened about ten minutes ago. But I guess I think it was cool enough to share. None of the stared in the headlights, they all just kinda ran away.
Saw an old friend tonight. I wish I could help her more. I think that's the worst feeling in the world. When you can't really help someone you care about, you just feel so helpless. It sucks. I want to say "I'm Sorry". I wish things could go back to the way they were. Fuck college. It just sucks too, because I don't want to seem like I care too much. If there's one thing to learn from this (even though nothing good has come out of this for me tonight,) it's don't pass up helping someone when you have the chance. Cause you don't know if you'll be able to next time. Or ever again.

I've already said everything else I want to add here right now.
<3

To Write Love on Her Arms Spring Break Conference

I'm going. I'm so excited!




<3

Where do I belong here?

The wind roars in between the buildings.
Leaves would fly through the air,
but the snow has buried them all.
My soul would fly away if the cold weather didn't keep it company.
"So what's new?"
The same old, breaking hearts and falling asleep alone night after night.
But I signed myself up for a new fight.
I'm trying to become something nice.
There's still time to place your bets,
I'm still in the early rounds.
I've taken a few hits but I'm giving it all I got.

Ever realize why we hate?
It's so much easier to get our emotions out in negative ways. If we yell at someone, or do something that seems heartless, and pretend to not care; we think its better for us. It allows us to get out our emotions with out the risk of getting hurt. If we really don't care, we let things go. But it's in our nature to care. We basically always will. If we say "i hate you", or anything negative and/or along those lines; we get our emotions out without taking the risk of getting ourselves hurt. If we say, "look, I care and I want to work this out" we make ourselves become vulnerable. We open our hearts, but along with that we open a chance that we will get hurt. It makes sense for those with trust issues, or those going through bad times as well I think; because they will push people away instead of letting them in for the sole reason that they are afraid to get hurt again.
We can solve this by really working on our own emotions, and every now and then, telling the people we care about, that we care about them. That way it won't end up in a situation where it's "too late". And it's nice to hear. We have to try to be strong, and in certain cases opening our hearts to those we care about. We might get hurt, but it's worth taking the chance. Because we might become closer with that person that we ever imagined. I think, hopefully, that you get the general idea of what I'm trying to get across.

I must get back to this thing they call college.
Stay warm, keep your hearts warmer
<3

A purpose for the pain

I can honestly say, that in the past month, I believe I have become a better person. I have done a lot of soul searching, and I know how I want to go through this life. Well, I at least have a better idea. I also can say that I don't have a doubt in my mind that I did a lot of good things over this break. I hope what I have learned about myself, life, God, and the world we live in stays with me. I hope that I can help as many people as possible. I'm glad this break went the way it did. And I still have some of it left. Every moment, is one that you can do something good in.


<3

Growing up- in the sense of knowledge

I've realized that a lot of things I have said and/or done in the past I now disagree with. With what I know and how I felt in the past, I made decisions and opinions on what I knew. But I have grown with knowledge and understand so many things, and I feel that now I have present ideas which conflict with ones I've had in the past. It's hard with that in life. We are, or at least I am, trying to always figure out more. Find answers to everything. It gets aggravating to me though when I realized how different I am in some ways from the person I used to be.
And tonight, I have realized that there are some things I have done in my past that I have not forgiven myself for. There are things which when brought up, I still struggle to find answers. It might be part of life, and I'm sure there will be somethings that I will never forgive myself for. But I do feel like shit about them. It bothers me. One thing that is a fact to me is that at the end of the day, a simple question mark as an answer is a very acceptable answer.


<3

I love Fall Out Boy

They all are so real. Pete is a guy that I think I won't figure out in this lifetime; but I can't get over that. Everything he writes goes straight to my heart. He is someone so special to me. I have yet to meet then, and part of me hopes I never do. Because I know I won't be able to show to any of the four of them how much I appreciate their music and how much they all mean to me; along with what they have helped me through. I'm so excited for this upcoming tour. I'm so excited I'm going to be seeing them in MA on a Tuesday, and then again at Bamboozle on Sat. It's something I dreamed about a couple of years ago. I will stop here, because I am extremely tired, and I could go on for all night.


Help me become the best person I can be.
I want to be someone, that the old u (the u I'm in love with). Could look at and be proud of. Even with understanding everything I've been through. I want approval from where my heart remains.
Ever just stop, look back on the past couple of years of your life and say "wow"? I'm glad I am where I am right now.
I love my friends.
Goodnight
<3

There something missing....

I need to meet someone new


<3

Life could be going better

I need to work on changing who I am. I want to really help people. And I need to work on changing myself. I need to stop screwing around so much and stop doing stupid shit all the time. I have other ways to release, and I need to do them. I need to really work on myself. I might need a little help, and I hope I get it.


Give me strenght
<3

Note on hypocrites

I have said that one of, if not the, hardest things to do in life is not be a hypocrite. We all look down on people when we realize they catch themselves in a moment when they are one. We look down on the person because of the frustration. They know that they shouldn't do or say whatever they are; because they have spoken and/or acted against it. The first, and I think hardest step; is realizing that you have done something wrong. If you're being a hypocrite, then you already know that. You just need to do it. But because you have already figured it out yet aren't acting on it; it becomes very frustrating.

In life we take to many things for granted. We think to deeply about large ideas when we haven't thought deeply about the little ones. The worst part of it is taking people in our lives for granted. Don't! Thank people and show appreciation. And just in general, recognize that there is a difference between reading or listening to something and agreeing with it afterwards. And reading or listening to something while agreeing with it because it shares a thought that you have concluded on your own.


Goodnight
<3

Honest conversations= a reason worth living

I want to scream I love you from the top of my lungs

But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me.*



<3