I feel stuck in them middle

It seems like some people move on, and are fine without me in their lives.
And it seems like others aren't ready to change and mature enough to be in my life.

"Is anybody out there? Hello Alone Broken hearts like promises are left for lesser knowns"

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Finally really catching up.

Warped Tour was so amazing. I helped out at the TWLOHA tent for most of the day. It was fun, and I had some awesome conversations. I hated that one girl who came up and asked me something and I just kind of froze. I asked Chris, and he talked to her; but I hated it. I don't know why I did. Right now I can think of 50 different ways I could've responded. I guess it just takes time. But it was a great day. Seeing Underoath backstage was soooooo awesome. Jason is a great guy and I'm glad he was able to do that for me, and my friend who I know it meant the world to. It was a great day. I'd love to intern for TWLOHA and I hope some day down the road it happens. I feel like I can learn so much. I feel like I will feel at home with other people that are willing to help out. I could talk about this for awhile, but moving on.
Life is going well. I have a few things to look forward to. The reunion is in 8 days. I have all the things I take for granted. And those are awesome.
I still am trying to figure out so many things. (there will always be questions left unanswered.)
Everything happens for a reason though. I am trying so hard to not let things get to me. To let it go when someone doesn't answer or respond, or if I get blown off, ect. It's hard. I know I would be so much stronger if I knew I had that one person who I could love and knew loved me and that we would be together. With that, everything else is easier.
But there are good things about this way too. I love thinking the things I do. Pondering the questions I ask. I feel like this is so much better than other professions I could be going into. Because I don't look at this as a profession; I look at it as a way of life. And one of the few ways in which life should be lived.
Also, A good friend reminded me of a very important thing tonight- Jesus hung out with sinners.
We should try to not judge people, but only show them kindness. There is good in everyone. And one we find it, we should just try to help them with whatever is that won't bring out the good in them. That's not worded as well as I would like it, but it will do. After all life is a lot of settling. But I am tired. Off to bed.

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Warped Tour 2009

will write about this and life otherwise real soon.
I love To Write Love.
And everytime I meet someone that is really involved, they always seem amazing and inspiring


<3

One last thing

thought's get tangled, and I forgot to write this.

Is real love being able to be happy for that person if they are with someone else
or
Is real love killing yourself because you can't stand life without them?

deep and dark

Older feelings become new

I'm scared. Yet so anxious. So close to either feeling so great, lucky, happy, and loved. But also so close to feeling so dark, hurt, alone, and confused.
Not as scared, because I have people who I know won't leave. People I can talk to.
But I think.
Does it matter how many people are there if you are so hung up on just the one you don't have?
Can all the others just really disappear? Because, well frankly, you don't care.
You want their help, there arms and ears.
But you don't.
Usually when I write these I listen to peaceful soft music.
Right now I'm listening to Underoath.
I like it.
It's weird how I can feel so connected to someone that lives so far away.
I mean that in a best-friend sense.
I know it's healthy I'm a little paranoid.
The sky is cloudy. No stars used to always mean not to good of a night.
I guess some things never really do never change.
Thought about driving by ur house 2night.
But I didn't. I have only been able to say that a handful of times.
I don't want to hurt anymore over you.
But as I wrote that, it felt like a lie.
Maybe I'm STILL not ready. : (

I debate a lot about religion, but it seems like praying always helps.
Just though I'd through that in here. It will probably allow me to sleep at night.
I was over thinking too much about tomorrow. I will sleep now.
I just remembered that earlier this week I burned every letter she ever wrote me.
I had forgotten. It puts a smile to my face.

We are all broken. Don't forget it.
Sometimes I do.

Want to have a thing of just true sayings for my To Write Love chapter. On Facebook every morning, I will post a saying. It can have been written by me, or someone else in the group. And I guess musical lyrics also. But just something true. Something that we can all forget. Something that can hopefully improve our lives, either by inspiring or warning us that pain can come.

I'm confused.
But that's life.
I hope Underoath is right when they say "At the end of the road, you'll find what you're looking for"

<3

And I never want to feel this way again. Standing alone with empty bottles as my friends

Feel like I could write an album about this weekend.
Will update for real soon.

<3