Sometimes I'm caught in moments when I get scared. I feel normal.
I'll be around people and I'll feel like I want them to be looking up to me.
And it can be hard, but sometime a conversation doesn't go the way we hope.
I'll see there's something someone wants to say, but ......
Pause thought.
I think I just figured it out.
We start to fall apart. I don't understand some things about you. What we need to do is just hang out. The two of us. One on one. Talk. But that doesn't happen. And you will write these miserable things about your life. And I won't really understand. And I'll want to fix you, to change you. Cause I just think that maybe if you are more like me, we will be closer. You will talk to me more. (I know that's wrong).

I think that makes sense. I'll read it again 2mrw.
I think I just figured out quite a few friendships that I have ruined and why I got so hung up on them.


I want to be me.
I'm spending life trying to figure out who that is.

Haven't had a good heart to heart, one on one convo with someone since Boston a couple of weeks ago. like one where I got to talk a little bit about me too. I think that needs to happen soon.

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