This is the choice I've made

I'm laying here alone in my own bed, in MY OWN apartment. As I start off, it's important to remember why I am doing this. I'm here for myself. I'm here to force myself to learn to be the best person I can. On October 30, I will head back up to Massachusetts where I will finish my degree, become involved in the mental health world again, and explore the ideas that Chris and I come up with.
But for now, I'm down here. I'm going to force myself to make the best out of everyday. To do things that are productive every single day. I'm down here to look in the mirror in the morning, and have the opportunity to stay there all day and stare at my reflection if I need to. To ask the difficult questions, and figure out who I am. This isn't just for the next 6 months, this is for the future. This is learning that I can be okay on my own, so I can push myself so much more in the future. This is learning to believe in myself even more than I already do. If you have 100 people that believe in you, it doesn't mean jack shit if you don't believe in yourself. I'm learning to believe in myself as much as I can.

This is that get-a-way vacation people have dreamed off, and mines 5 months and 3 weeks longer than that. This is choosing to take my own path because it's something that I can call mine; instead of just flying through college. This is knowing how valuable each and everyday of my life is, and trying to make sure I have time to appreciate that. If I'm lonely, I'm missing the point. This is supposed to be fulfilling. This is a journey full of learning, growing, and remembering to always keep my head up. This is running that extra mile for the kid stuck in their room just wanting to run away. This is taking time to breathe for everyone that is too stressed to do so. This is stepping out of my comfort zone and learning new things for all of those who aren't as open minded. This is creating a love for myself that's stronger than anyone else. This is waking up to watch the sunrise, and have the opportunity to drive a few hours and watch it set over water as well. This is getting your ass out and doing things in beautiful weather. This is learning what it's like to have valued friendships that don't walk through every moment of life with you. This is new.