Today I feel like Quentin

http://iasieu.wordpress.com/2008/09/08/for-those-who-can-ride-in-an-airplane-for-the-first-time/
(second video)

This isn't the best place I could've ended up for the summer. I feel like that are way easily too many distractions and temptations. Somewhere more secluded from people and more in touch with nature would've been great for me. Somewhere that wasn't a tourist spot, and didn't have such a generation gap. Or at least somewhere completely new and foreign to me. I think it's sad that there is no longer the idea of an adolescent going off on their own to find them self in our culture. I don't know off the top of my head, but I'm sure there are cultures back in time that did this. It's great. See, we never get the opportunity to unlearn all of the things we have and to try to learn new things for ourselves. This is what I'm trying to do down here. I'm trying to learn about me, and life, and all of the big questions. I'm not really asking others however, I'm just taking it day by day and doing things ALONE and ON MY OWN more than I ever have in my life. I feel like I won't have enough time to get the answers I want, the understanding, the clarity, and the re-assurance. But I guess we can only go so far on our own.

All I know is I'm broken. And right now, I have more of a desire to do good things from guilt more so than anything else. I am a troubled young man, trying to pick up the pieces, that at them from a new fresh perspective (mine), and then walk through life. I have to really work on me.

I've been thinking about God a lot lately. If he does exist, maybe he's crying tonight. Maybe he's not perfect. Maybe, like most of us, he has days in which he barely gets by. I want to cry with him. I want to feel enough of a sense of secureness and comfort to join him. I want to be told that it's okay to cry. And I'm telling all of this to myself. It's okay for me to cry, to laugh, to sing and scream, to skip, to yell, to love and question, to love to question. It's okay to want to be myself. Where ever that may take me, and whatever I may become, it's okay. The present doesn't mean as much without the future. What are you going to do tomorrow?

Tonight I was with beautiful people, and I was able to make them laugh and enjoy their company. Now all I want to do is allow others to feel a stronger desire to love.

Peace,
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