Update, College life

I've been using that expression a lot the past week, "College Life". I mean, I am back in college, so I guess it makes sense and is fair to use it.

In a sense, I feel like it's all overwhelming. Being back here on campus, seeing old friends, being in classes. It's a different lifestyle for sure. Going from the sunny beach in Florida living a simple, and relaxing life where the only problem was feeling like I somewhat lacked a purpose; to moving back to MA. Living back at home, enjoying all the time I got to spend with my family, and reconnecting with old friends. Now I'm back at school. 2011 was full of a lot of free time, and free choices. Now I'm being held more accountable for myself and my actions. I have work, classes, and lots of homework. As my best friend put it the other day, college means "The feeling of never being relaxed, because you always have more stuff to do. Even if you have everything done for tomorrow, you know in the back of your mind that you could be doing more stuff for something in the near future." It's an odd feeling. It can drive you or discourage you.

I have learned (or remembered depending on how you want to look at it) that it is important to remember what I have accomplished everyday, and to feel good about myself. I'm trying to make quality time with friends and good conversations more of a part of my life. The past couple of days, this has been going really well. I'm thankful for it. I hope this is always a part of my life. Last year I struggled a lot with the question, "Who am I?" I know that this (conversations and friends) is part of that answer.

I feel like this semester I am more determined to get my work done and to make sure I do good. I like this. My main focus is school, and I think it should be, seeing the amount of time, and effort I'm putting into it, and the amount of money my parents have given (even though money isn't as important).

I'm still not sure what the future holds for me. Maybe I'll start my own non-profit, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll be a counselor, maybe I'll do work with people in third-world countries. Maybe I'll do something I've never thought of, or maybe I'll even die tomorrow. We never know when we will leave this earth. I just watched videos with a friend reminding me of how important it is to say things now. To make sure you are doing things you want, and have told those people that you love, that you do love them. "Maybe we've told them we love them; but do you ever get tired of hearing it?".

If you're my friend, please know I love you. I'm thankful you are a part of my life. I forgive you for the times that I haven't been a great friend, and I hope you can forgive me too. If you aren't my friend, please know you are loved, and that you matter very much. And also, why the heck aren't we friends? Cause you're probably pretty cool. We should probably talk.

I hope you have a good night. I hope tomorrow rocks. I hope in the next month you get to watch both a sunrise and a sunset. I hope every hour you get to hear the words "I love you" and you get hugs just as much.

There's a tattoo on my back that says LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT.

Goodnight,
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The scariest times are also the most exciting

I wake up and feel like it's spring. There's a couple of inches of snow on the ground, and its 30 degrees outside if I'm lucky. But I associate how I'm feeling right now with spring. Spring is new beginnings, and fresh starts. Spring is that feeling that the only familiar thing about it is that it's new.
My whole life is ahead of me. The options are there. I feel like this semester, like right now, is time for me to chase my dreams. I can explore things, I can let ideas flow over conversations with a hot cup of coffee in my hand. I can feel connected, and get to become closer with others.

My name is Kevin Pelletier. I would like to start a non-profit after I graduate with my undergraduate degree. This gives me a year to a year and a half of prep. Let the brain storming begin.

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Change change, and a little more change.

Wow. It's been awhile. I have some thoughts that are kind of all over the place. I think. So here we go!:

Florida was awesome. It was great to go back there and visit, but I realize that it isn't a place I want to live long term. I enjoyed my time there, but I feel like when I'm down there I'm missing something. Actually, I know I am. A purpose. I feel like down there my life is simple and easy and maybe even a little boring. That's exactly how a vacation should be, because it's relaxing. But life isn't boring.

When we are growing up, we are told not to talk to strangers. I guess I can understand why we are told that, though it is unfortunate. At what age is it okay to talk to strangers again? Because I know it's gotta be earlier than 21, and I feel like most people don't get that memo. Or at least, they don't take action. Consequently, a lot of us are dying of loneliness.

Having a passion is great. Focusing on doing something, and helping out a particular cause is wonderful. It is important to remember that through this, we must remain humble. Though we may feel like it at times, it isn't a fact that whatever cause we are working for is the most important. That is only an opinion. It's good to keep time to always put our efforts into numerous things. Because sometimes we can be so focused on a good thing, we forget about others, and starting hurting them. We can end up doing more bad than good unintentionally.

It's funny how we can boast about the "wrong doings" of others so easily, but never stop and take a second to look in the damn mirror.

I'm thankful for my awesome friends and family. For everyone who keeps the judging to a minimum and the encouragement to a max.

I'm going to try to not play xbox at all the rest of the week. And also keep the tv time down. Hoping to be a little more productive this week.

G night y'all.

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Winter in New England

It's getting cold outside. Snow hasn't lied itself on the ground yet, but it will soon. This is an interesting time of year for me. I've especially lately become more fascinated with nature. This fall has meant motorcycle rides up to Newport to sit and stare out at the ocean. I'm not quite sure what winter means for me right now. It's a time of year that people spend more of inside. These four walls are getting to me. This is the time of year where it's great to have someone to cuddle up next to. But not all of us have that.

I know that I will always love people. Yesterday I grabbed coffee with a friend. On the ride home, we blasted music and sang our hearts out. It was the most alive I've felt in a while. I love interacting with people, and going out and exploring. I'm excited to get back to college, to be around people. That's one of the best things about college, the community in it. There are always people doing spontaneous, exciting, new things. It's so easy to meet new people.

I don't really know what else to write right now, but I want to write something. I want to give more, and to feel more connected. I want these words to feel like a hug for someone. I think that would be nice. One thing that has remained constant for me over the past few years is that I want to share my life and this journey with others. I want to inspire and support as many people as I can. I care. I genuinely care; and nobody's perfect, but I do try. Damn it, I just want to make this world a little better of a place before my time is up.

I don't know what my future holds, but I feel like it's something big. I'm a leader. Not everyone can get up and speak in front of hundreds of people, organize and run things with as much passion and hard work as I have. I have some gifts and I'm hoping I learn the best ways to use them. The non-profit world is sounding very promising. Now, I think it's time to read and then get some sleep.

I hope tomorrow brings you happiness, and a warm, bear like hug from someone you care about.

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My mind is racing

So many things I'm excited for in the future are getting closer and closer.

The next two days will be relaxing and enjoyable, which will be good after the week I had. I'm thankful for meeting new people. It's always fun asking questions; it's the best way to get to know people. I think that's something I've become pretty good at over the years, asking questions. It's humbling, in the sense that you are more interested in what you can learn than what you can teach someone. I like conversations that are full of questions.

There are many good friends in Lowell I can't wait to hang out with.

Going to try to get some sleep.

<3

"I get by with a little help from my friends"

It's kinda of like a born again type of thing....
I read about Love about a week ago before I went to bed. A book by Leo. The next morning I woke up in a wonderful mood. I'm continuing to read, and wake up in wonderful moods. I'm proud and content with the person I am. I'm so thankful for the people in my life right now. My friends are amazing. Yes, I miss some friends in Lowell, and Florida, but I have good friends around here, and I have people that I can text, call, skype and stay in touch with. It's great to feel like you're sharing you're day with someone. Wether it's a person you are hanging out with, or just talking to about stuff.

Yesterday I sat on a bench staring out at the Boston Harbor with Logan airport behind it. My best friend was next to me. We were just talking and taking it all in. Every time a plane flew off I said bye. I thought about how many people where on each flight. Wondered where they were heading and why they were going there. Excited to go on a vacation, or flying back towards loved ones struggling with heavy hearts. Some probably felt so alone. I remember the last time I was flying back to Florida when I lived down there. With about a half hour left in the flight, I took my headphones off. I started having a great conversation with the gentleman next to me. Talking about Florida, where we were from, and sharing experiences in life. It was nice. I decided that when I go back to Florida in Jan, I'm really going to try to have a conversation with someone on the flights. I talk so much about how I want to reach out, share love, and know others. I don't practice as much as I preach, and that's something I'm trying to work on.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I have hurt many people in my life. I know I have done things that I shouldn't have. Things that have hurt myself, others, and made this world a little less of a good place. But I also know that tomorrow is a new day. And that gives anyone and everyone the chance to be a leader. To step up and start out a new, fresh start. I wake up to the singing of the words "It's a new day" every morning.

I have very recently learned to accept that sometimes we just need to let certain people out of our lives. Not everyone on this earth can connect nor live in harmony with each other. People experience life in different ways, and chance at different paces. Sometimes it doesn't all add up. This can hurt to accept, but it can make us all healthier individuals. I remember a quote that Leo had heard, "If we can love each other, can we at least not hurt?". Is that beautiful to live by or what? I think so.

There are beautiful people around you with kind hearts that can share the joys, pains, questions and all parts of life in harmony with you. Or at least only a half step off. But it still sounds pretty good. Hug hard. Smile even when you're not sure if you should. Have hope. Live with passion in your heart.
I want to make this world a better place and fill it with more love. Let's make this journey into a movement that will be remembered forever.

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Winter

And I feel like my head is full of nothing but questions....

Tuesday can't come soon enough.

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