Hey

This is one of those time's I'm real. At least I feel like I'm thinking real.
Are things great?
No, they never will be.
But I'm doing okay. I'm pretty happy.
It's hard sometimes talking to people and listening to them talk about struggles or horrible things in life that are true. It's hard do give someone the benefit of the doubt when they don't even know themselves. To listen for five more minutes when you know you'd rather be doing something else. I'm lucky enough to be graced with a lot of patience lately. I know I'm not perfect. I know sometimes I have to say "I can't talk right now". But I believe that's what will keep me going. Maybe I feel a little used. Maybe I wonder how much I am actually just used sometimes. It just gets into me realizing I'll never understand it all. When your happy, you can deal with it. When you aren't, it can make you think too much about death.
Wanted to feel some sort of emotion before I feel asleep.
The book filled of pictures of us I got for our 6 months still lays under my bed. Some nights, like these, I almost want to take it out. But I don't. Cause I'm scared I might not getting the same feeling. Am I'm falling out of love? Is it possible? I don't know. But I wish we could talk again. And just that. I'll live fine if we don't, and I'm sure you will too. It'd just be nice, it'd take a load of so many negative feelings off my heart and thoughts out of my head. But I don't count on it. There's a bigger picture, and that's what keeps me going these days. I hope it can stay like this, and it'd be great if it got a little better.

Bye,
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