Spent late last night watching FOB videos and reading old journals of Pete Wentz. I got to see my dog today. That was exciting. Got to drive around with a friend that I hadn't seen in months.
And I realize this blog isn't different. It isn't great. Probably not even good. And I want it to be. It can be real and great. But I just don't know how to be real. I don't know what to type right now, but the feeling of my fingers running across this keyboard make me feel just a little more okay. So I'm just going to keep doing it. Saw you in my dreams last night. It was in the future and you and I were together. Made pancakes this afternoon for breakfast. Ran to the store to get milk, then drank coffee instead. I wonder how much you think of me. I wonder how much anyone does. I wonder how I could be more hopeful. Tomorrow will be good. Tomorrow night will decide if I'll still feel that way. Going to be meeting up with some good people again hopefully. Shall be fun. Maybe seeing others first. I don't know. If you hold me long enough and say you love me, I'll be yours. It's that simple right now, because most nights I feel like a lone man wolf pack. That's lost. And It's winter. I could go on and on, but you get the point.
Don't expect those to be there for you that you are there for them. They are too busy going through their own shit. We all need people that are either okay enough to talk to, or just great at faking the fact.
Almost called her today so I could remember what lust feels like, and then compare it to this. If it came up short, how'd you feel?
I feel like I don't know how to write about life or questions as much as I do love and girls that I can't quite get. I'm going back to bad habbits now. Time to stop and sleep. Non of this probably made sense. If so, disregard.
<3
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