I want to have a night where I don't feel so alone.

Today I went out, bought, and started reading "Through Painted Deserts" by Donald Miller. I'm not very far into it, but I'm already very excited. Reading this makes me want to go out and explore even more so. And I am saying that in a healthier way now. I was running away from something for a little while, but I have come to terms with it. But back to traveling. I had a trip down to Florida with friends, twice. But to me I was there more for the destination than the journey, and I regret that. Makes sense, seeing I was living for the future instead of in the present at that time. I want to drive out west, with a friend, maybe two. I want to have no particular destination, no deadlines or plans. I want to feel that free. I want to experience, learn, and grow from that.
I wish I didn't fear money so much. Maybe I'll learn not to.

"When our dreams gave way to plans, other friends faded back into thoughts of responsibility and comfort." I'm looking for the people who won't fade.
It doesn't have to be a road trip, but I want to be surrounded by people going after their dreams. There are inspirational stories everywhere. Journeys that seemed impossible were challenged, and it turned out they weren't impossible at all. We have landed on the freakin Moon for God's sake!!!! I want to find my dreams in life and really go after them. Personally, I think it's very difficult to figure out one's dreams when one is surrounded by so much pressure, stress, negativity, and influence. I think we need to maybe step away from all of that. My dog wanted to be outside today. She came in and kept wanting to go back out. She wanted to be experiencing nature, and feel free. I can relate to that so much. Part of me wanted to kick down the fence and run wild with her. Maybe I should've.

But I think that these years of our lives, the years after high school, should be more focused on traveling, exploring, and experiencing than college, money, and jobs. We have a life time full of the other stuff. Most of us don't have things tying us down right now, things like a full time job, a serious relationship, a family of our own, etc. WE ARE FREE!!!! We should take advantage of that. And please please please understand that when I say these things, I don't mean getting wasted in Vegas. I'm talking about kayaking down the Grand Canyon, watching the sun rise on the east coast and set on the west in the same season, looking up at stars at night from a mountain and then a desert, learning the difference of the two, having the only noises around you be that of nature, meeting people and getting to really know them by learning how their culture, views, dreams, fears, questions, and desires are both similar and different in comparison to our own. I'm talking about hiking a mountain and screaming from the top of it. About learning how the word beautiful has different meanings in Texas, Louisiana, Colorado, Oregon, and California. I'm talking about feeling alive.


Listening to the Goo Goo Dolls.
Going back to reading now.
Go explore tomorrow.
Nothing would make me happier than if someone showed up at my doorstep and told me "Let's go" and we started off on a journey with no expectations besides feeling free. I think I'd jump in the car and go, but I wouldn't mind being challenged and finding out.

Live now.
<3