Midnight Golf

Late at night in the back seat of her car, losing track of time. It is so cold out, and we were freezing before, but not our bodies are pressed together and the layers are coming off. Our tongues are now doing the flirting our words were a week ago. A car is coming closer, and we pause and listen, then watching the headlights move up the street. Once we know they've gone by we continue. Our hands explore each other's bodies, and all signs lead to this going further.
You'd think we were a couple of teenagers, not people in their early and mid 20s.
I can't help but say I'm bored with it. Feeling the closeness and the heat of someone else's body than is rubbing against your own is a nice feeling, but it really doesn't mean shit if you're hearts not involved. The worst sex I've ever had was with a girl who was quite possibly the most attractive. To be honest, I just didn't get a shit about her as a person, I didn't know her at all, so it was hard to enjoy it. It was hard to enjoy because I was lonely and I knew it. Because I was trying to fill that void with the hopelessness of a "hook up".
I'm learning this isn't what I want. Its frustrating to live in a society that is filled with sex appeal, nudity, and seduction. By itself, it all leads to nowhere good. I don't want to have a girlfriend right now. I don't want a fuck buddy, or friends with benefits, or anything like that. I want to continue to be on my own and try to learn more about life.
I want to learn to be more creative in new ways. In the amazing book I'm reading (Through the Painted Desert), the guys have just stopped to visit a friend in a small town in Cali. They ask the friend what there is to do for fun around there. The friend ends up sneaking them into a golf course, and they running around the place hitting balls in the dark aiming for each other. Yes it's a little dangerous, and not totally legal, but it's a hell of a lot more fun than going to see a movie, or playing video games, or sitting on your computer, or getting drunk. I remember the times in high school I would hang out with people and we would always end up doing crazy random shit. Yes, it was stupid and reckless sometimes, but it was OURS. We had our own creativity and we were putting it to work. I want to find my own way to use that creativity in my life now. I want to find my version of midnight golf; and do it every night until I'm bored of it. And then I want to find the next thing like it. Because doing things like that, they just allow you to feel alive and free in a way that is special.

What's your Midnight Golf?
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