I won't be a Rockstar.

This is something that has been hitting me lately. I won't get a band, I won't go anywhere with one if I did. Over the past few months this has started to takeover in my head. If it's wrong, college is to blame. But as much as I can have my heart set into it, I need to find other people that want it as bad as me. And that just isn't happening. I'm losing faith, so maybe It's my own fault. I don't really know what else to do though. I go through a lot of phases. Some repeat. It shows in my writing. Maybe this is just another one of those, or maybe it really is different. "Believers never die". But I already did a long time ago. I said I'd throw this all away for something, and I think that's my biggest weakness. Anyway, I'm going to try to become a "better person". I'm going to try to help people. Get really involved in TWLOHA. That is something good, and worth living for. And I'm always going to love FOB and all of this. And hopefully I will still always write. But I just hope in God's eyes, or who ever it is to which we are their snow globe which we are all stuck inside, I hope I seem worthwhile. Maybe life isn't worth living, but we can try to change that.

If im disappointing myself, and no one is here to notice as i runaway; then I can go on in life living a perfectly hidden lie.
<3