4 days/Saying farewell

The last couple of weeks have been amazing. I have spent so many days and nights hanging out with people that mean a lot to me. People that I have known for years and people that I've really started to get to know recently. I've had some really great conversations. A few friends have really opened up to me, and I am thankful for that. I wonder how many have started opening up just because they know I'm leaving, and they figure we won't stay in touch (oh trust me, we will!). But I hope it's not for that reason. Being vulnerable is so hard, but so many great things can come out of it; and I've felt and seen this the past couple of weeks. Difficult conversations can end in great positive ways. It's been a privilege getting to know the people I have, and becoming closer with friends.
I think most importantly (for me) it's been great that I've learned how to have fun again. I can hang out with friends and relax and just have a good time. And by have a good time, I don't mean drink. I mean just hang out and laugh, and tell stories, and go on adventures, and making fun of each other, and watching Disney movies, and playing ultimate frisbee in a blizzard, and going in a hot tub in a blizzard, and making the best of sitting in a broken down car on the side of the highway for 2 hours, and playing games, and having foam sword fights in the mall. I'm so glad I've been able to have fun. I feel like for awhile I forgot how to do that.
When I figured I was probably going to Florida, I wanted to have a night where everyone I knew could come together and meet each other. Probably have a few bands there playing music. Do some fun games. Do some cool activities that would allow people to get to know each other. I wanted to do this not because I wanted to be the "focus" of a night and I wanted a night all about me; but rather because I wanted community. I was leaving here, but I wanted a strong community without me. I wanted people to get to know each other. To become friends, to hang out and have fun. And most importantly, to be there for each other when they needed someone. Every minute your feeling alone, there's someone else that's not too far away and not too much different than you feeling alone too. And there's always a lot of people that want to be there, and support, and help, and learn and love. I want to encourage this to happen.
The event didn't happen, but I feel like the community has in a sense, and I HOPE it continues to!!!! I hope people reach out to each other. To share their stories, and invite others to become a part of them. Reaching out can be hard, but I do it so much and I love it. Sometimes I don't think about it, or try to find a reason, I just do it! I'll pick up my phone and call and text people and say positive things and ask how they are or make plans to hang out soon. Everyone has that one "safety" outlet to cope. That one crutch you can go to when you are having a struggle with something. For me, it's people. It's friends, and conversations, and not being alone. It's also music. I think having people as a crutch is the best way. Not the easiest at all, but defiantly the best! We are so powerful. You as a person are more powerful than you could ever imagine!!!!!! Remember that.
I want to end with this. I hope that I can go out on the road doing some speaking things with TWLOHA. I want to share my blog "Struggle" with people. I want people to have an extreme feeling, and I want to pull people into this organization. Some are skeptical because it can almost seem like we are making these issues a trend. These issues happen, they have, and they always will. People struggle, life is hard. However, we don't want to make these issues a trend. We don't want people to stay connected to these issues. We want COMMUNITY and Conversations. We want people to stay connected with people!!! We want everyone to CARE about people. We hope that in situations when needed, your friend, or family member will come first. No matter what else you are doing. Care about people. This is why we live. To go through life together. So let's do that as much as we can. I'm going to in Cocoa. I'm going to try to get to know so many people so much; and also continue to try to make myself a better person. I hope where ever you are and whatever you're doing, you try to do that to.

Peace to you tonight,
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