I love that phrase lately. Really makes me think. Trying to do a lot of thinking down here. Today harsh realities were brought to light. All I care about is coming out of a situation with something good. Usually that means being able to truthfully say that I learned something. And I can say that today.
I want to pour my heart into someone/something. Someone I love or something that I believe in. But I'm learning that "In the real world" that doesn't happen. FUCK THE REAL WORLD. Okay, now I can move on with my thoughts. I don't really pour my heart into myself. I don't love myself a whole lot. I am very hard on myself. And maybe I do need to change that. I know I need to. But I like pushing it off. Figuring that that's something I can do later on. Because as much as it prevents me from loving myself more, I pour that love onto others. I love doing that. I feel like that's what makes me who I am. So it's tough.
I have to figure out myself, to figure out myself. Yeah.
Lot's of thinking lays ahead this weekend. What do I invest my self-worth in? That's kind of the question I'm struggling with right now. And it's a big question.
Do I keep being my own person, and doing what I feel like kind of defines me, pouring my heart out, or do I try to do what's "best for me" and put myself first.... this is life.
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