A new perspective for me

He walked into the merch cave as we were sorting through an order. I had never met him before. Within two minutes, he was sitting down asking, "What's your purpose? Who are you?". These are the kind of people I came down here to be around. People that will sit down and aren't scared to ask the tough questions. I was asking myself these same questions just the night before. But that was much different. That was me letting out my questions and all of the frustrations they carried. That was me just dumping my problems on someone. That was me wanting to cry, because I felt so fucking exhausted.
But this, this was different. This was friendly. It was patient and kind, and it didn't need an answer in this moment. "I'm 32 years old and I just recently figured this out." This was something more special. He told us an answer won't come from this conversation. It will only come from within ourselves. I couldn't agree more. I'm the person that always wants to do more. I have that. I want to keep fighting. I want to go into the hopeless situation and be the only hopeful person there. I want to stand out and challenge people. Doing the work I am now, that's the only healthy way I know how. It's healthy because it helps both me and the other person.
But what's my purpose? Hope. I'm carrying hope, and you can't ever fucking take that away from me. TWLOHA can end tomorrow. You can't take hope away from you. You can't take my desire to impact others away from me either. My desire to challenge others. This is me. This is what I have to offer. This is my "purpose". It doesn't involved religion in a major role right now, unlike many people. But for now, this it is. And I'm okay with that. And I'm fighting and searching for me. Because this is me. You can't change me in these ways. "Because I'm here mother fucker, and we all here mother fucker. And we all mother fuckers mother fucker."
I love me. Do I want to change so I can relate to those that I don't relate to? No, I don't really think I do. Struggles are okay. Struggles happen. Pain, and questions happen. Even if I'm falling down, I still got all of your eyes and ears glued to me. Because we all love this story. I stand tall as I fall. I go down swinging. I get knocked out in the first round. I lose in the bottom of the 9th. I miss the game winning three-pointer. But I'll fucking keep my head up. Because I got that. That's me. That's my purpose.

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