Coffee with a legend

Today I got the privilege of grabbing coffee and having conversations with an incredible person. I am so thankful for the people down here that I get to hang out with and form relationships with. They are truly priceless. If I get nothing else out of being down here, I will have the memories of the conversations I have, and the things I learned.
I got so much advice today. I didn't want to say a single fucking word because I know that I have so much to learn. It's incredible to sit down with someone who has experienced so much. A conversation has a different flow, and goes a different way.
But anyway, what I learned today: I feel like I learned an answer today to something I've been struggling with a lot the past few months. I've been struggling with the idea of helping people and being worried that they won't change. That encouraging people can almost seem like enabling them to stay the same in a way. I've been worried that if I invest my time into encouraging people, and I don't see an improvement, then is any good going to come out of it? Or is it just going to be a waste? I've been scared of this. That maybe by caring about and believing in people all im doing is making it easier for them to be the same person they are.

But there's a different way! I learned, or maybe re-learned this today. It's weird cause it wasn't even really part of the conversation, or the ton of invaluable advice that I got today (I'm keeping that to myself : p). If you encourage someone, if you believe in them, and re-valuate them in who they are. If you support them and tell them they are good things... they will start to believe it. And they will sit there, and just maybe start to think about why they are a good person, and why they aren't. If someone learns something about themselves by self-evaluating, it is going to seem more real, and they will be more likely to act on what they learn than if someone just tells that person the same thing about themselves. This requires hope that the person will get enough encouragement and support that they will start to self-evaluate. But hope is something I can live on. That's something I can connect with.

I'm going to try to really do this more.

One other thing, the act of active listening is SOOOOO under-valued in our society. Take the time to really try to listen to someone. To be quite. To not feel like you have to say anything. To ask questions instead of giving advice. If you can go into a conversation with the desire to know someone, and not the desire to be known... that's something special. That's very humble. And I'm not saying don't try to be known, because we all need to be known. But every now and then, push that to the side and just learn about others. That's probably one of the best things you can do in life. It's so rewarding.

Tomorrow you could do something to help make the world a better place. What is it you're gona do?
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