In a relationship you are guaranteed a hug almost every single day

But now is the time that I need them the most. I feel horrible about this and I'm still doubting a little bit if I made the right decision. I just want to stop hurting people and I want the pain to stop for myself. Being alone is so hard. Before this year I've never ended a relationship and wondered if I could find a better one (except maybe my first, but who doesn't do that?). But first I need to create a better me. I need to deal with pain and I need to deal with this. And I need to not run away from this stuff. So far I haven't. I need to find a hobby when I'm home. Not sure what that will be yet. I wake up everyday and get out of bed. Some days it's really hard, like today. But I was able to help someone today. I had a wonderful session with a client. For a couple of hours after that I felt like a great guy. What's giving me hope is knowing that I'll feel even better than that on the day that I help myself. I'm excited I'm taking a huge and important step towards that tomorrow. Counseling. <3