Nobody likes you when you're 23

I'm 23 years old and I'm learning what it's like to go through a break up. This is different from all the others. I think what bothers me and makes this so confusing is that I try to compare it to others but I can't. I have changed and grown so much. I feel like overall I'm a healthier person that I have been in years, even right now. And it's confusing for me because this was the best relationship I've been in. So if I was a complete mess after others I expected I would be after this one. The fact that I am able to get out of bed in the morning, even if it takes a little while, when I couldn't in the past makes me doubt if this did matter to me as much as the others or if I'm lying to myself. I know this one meant the most. I also know, in part thanks to this relationship, I'm a lot healthier of a person now (as much as I still have things to work on). I don't feel completely helpless and have zero hope for the future, I don't have thoughts of hurting myself or of death. This just means that I'm learning what it's like to go through a break up when I'm mentally stable. It doesn't mean I love her any less or that our relationship didn't mean as much to me. It meant the world. And it's just as okay that the first reaction when my alarm goes off is to turn over and then I say "fuck" to myself when I remember she's not there.... it's just as okay that that happens as it is that I'm able to get out of bed and start my day a few minutes later. I'm learning what it's like to be sad but still able to "function". I'm trying not to feel guilty about it. <3