i wanted this to be as random as pancakes for thanksgiving, but it didnt turn out that way.

im always so critical of myself. but maybe, not enough. i fall back over and over again when all i really want to do is to get up. but do i really want to get up? 

every one of these post. every piece of paper in my notebooks. every line in the songs. they all just mean one thing. i guess i can never figure out how to exactly say it. that or im just trying to find a way to say it where other people can really understand it like i do. 

im the awkward one. i sit bak and am shy. most of the time. but i kinda wish i always was like that. i mean, we all have our certain friends that we can act however the fuck we want around, but i mean in general. when im not that person, i usually regret it later. 

i've realized it becomes very hard to not say idk. people say it so much in life and lie by doing so. if you think about whatever it is a little more, or try a little harder; it usually comes to you. but we've been taught at a young age to just give up i guess.

how does that make us the better generation?

<3