This might be a break through

Dear Kevin,

Stop trying to be perfect. You can't. You won't ever be. Every single person in this world has their flaws. You have yours, and it's okay to accept and own them.

Right now, your stuck in this unhealthy cycle. You don't really have any small coping mechanisms. Because, you don't want to try to cope with anything in a way that could be unhealthy, or just make simple little things real. But things build up, like they always will, and then you end up making a decision to try to cope in a very unhealthy, non rational way. You end up with one big pathetic coping mechanism that is 100% unacceptable and you know it.

Stop trying to be perfect. For now, be whoever you need to be. If you want a drink at the end of the day, have one. There's no harm in it. If you want reach out to people to talk, just do it. It's okay to let someone else know what's going on. If you just need a break, take one. You don't have to always push yourself. It has lead you to unhealthy places before, and it certainly will do so in the future unless you change the way you go about things.

So please, be unperfect, and love the person you are with all of the flaws, struggles, questions, and pain that makes you you.

"Everyday I try to be a little less shitty of a person". - That means there's always room for improvement. Learn to be okay with that.

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