10 days till mother fuckin warped tour comes around

the city is nice, don't get me wrong. i just haven't ment anyone that seems real interesting yet you know? its like that first time you go off from home as a little kid. cause home is where everything you know is. home is were your closest friends are. the people that know you the best. even if it turns out they really dont know you that well at all, they know you more than other people. and its nice to be around people like that. i love that i can explore this city tho. i guess the worst part of this is the times where i dont have a lot of time in between things. cause thats when im basically jus stuck in my room. i want to get to know the city. i can get used to falling asleep like this. to living like this. i just need a few friends. isn't it funny though, how we are all hypocritical sometimes? i have major ADD right now. so lets fallow this:
theres 2 12 packs of bud lights next 2 me
well they're actually root beers
except theres only about 1 nd 1/2
nd then a fridge
i miss tyler kozmo more than anything
i want to steal a duck boat
i wish i could make firends eaiser up here, idk why its so hard
haha i said hard nd that can be sexual
PENIS! - can you yell it louder?
green beans fights turkeys
my money is on the chinese but actually canadian/mexicain ninja that is gona jump in
my roomate is from holland
i think he told me yest but my memory is about as good as obamas campagian in the dirty dirty south
my other roomate is from oregon
that i know
i want to have sex with a random food right now, but i wont
if i just saw a donkey running down the street it would make my day.


and thas about it for now
<3

Would you believe?

that im homesick for the place i couldn't wait to get away from. i've been so excited for this, but right now im regretting it all. will it change? idk. time well tell. can time tell me that its gona be ok though? i dont think so. i dont hear it.
i need to find something that's my silence in the heart of the city at rush hour.
i need a hug.
i need love again.

<3

Boston here i come

im leaving in less than 5 hours. you'd think i'd be sleeping. but im just about done with packing. i'm almost done, except i figured this is more important. i hated saying goodbyes. it got me so down. i have the butterflies. i have the second thoughts and the doubts. im scared. i guess what im trying to say is, im human. but i really can't wait to leave. today, i finally get to leave this town. nd stay away from the longest i ever have. it really kinda makes me smile. i really hope i can meet people nd makes new friends and fallow this dream that's been stuck in my head for the past 2 years now. i am so tired, yet i keep drinking my coffee. today is going to be an amazing day. however, i really prob need some sleep. goodnight people, goodbye somerset.

<3

I stop and think in the middle of it all,

do i deserve to be this happy?


<3

poison, knifes, rope, and guns. there all good weapons, but i only need one

i need to run away and leave before every friend becomes an enemy. give me this new start tomm. i dont want another week in hell. i dont need another week in hell. i can't stand another week in hell. i wonder if everything i see in my closest friends that i dont like is just everything im trying to ignore about myself. im slipping away from thinking again. give me a day alone. give me more time to think about what will probably end up being nothing. i dont think about her, because im afraid to. everynight i see her the sky is dark. the stars are gone. its like a warning.
kevin, just go back to being alone. its the only thing your good at. it's the only way people might hate you just a little bit less. its probably what God has planned for you in the end anyway. just accept it. your so fucking pathetic you should just kill yourself now.
maybe everything i say about her, i mean about me too. maybe im the most hypocritical person i know, and i am just too blind to see it. but i dont want to see it, so why would i?
dont even kiss me.
dont give me a hug.
dont fill my arms for even a moment
your just my drug

<

I don't know what to do

i care so much. the more alone someone looks, the more i want to help them. hug someone that looks like they need it tomm. not a best friend but someone you don't know. So maybe you can have another best friend. its hard to find even one, so look carefully. sometimes people need to realize that you can't always be there for them. that every time they push you away, you won't push back. because we're all human. perfect is only an idea. but it's so hard to walk away. it's so hard to watch someone else do it. it's not i never give up, it's just that i have more patience. believe me there are times i've wanted to. If i walked away from someone every time i wanted to, i wouldn't have friends for more than a week. patience is of virtue. but why should we wait? we don't have all the time in the world. we're all gona die sometime. probably within this century.
my soft spot is for the people that really need it. i want to find them all. i can honestly say that from the bottom of my heart that nothing is better then helping someone when they really need it. then saving a life, or at least feeling like you did. and i think i deserve just a little bit of credit in that column.
I'm a man of few words i guess you could say. i talk a lot, but it's basically all about the same thing. yes, i could always figure this stuff out better. but i think im afraid to start talking about different things because then i'll seem wrong.
i saw a movie today, and i wanted the hero to die. i think movies are great. but i hate just about every ending of a movie i've seen. ya i've cried, i've felt something sometimes. but that's the problem. whatever we feel or think or "learn" from it isn't real. cause it really is just a movie. its fake. the ending isn't gona happen. they just fill our minds and sometimes hearts with false hope. let's make things real again. let's live in a time that we aren't ashamed of. can we really change? you decide. let me know.

<3
p.s. i love how my new mac has spell check. prob. makes these a lot easier to read

p.s. beaches are boring in the summer, there too crowded and the sand always gets stuck in your feet and stays there too long. i'm going to stick with pools and ultimate frisbee. but what else is there that's exciting to do in the summer? post-it notes, traffic cones and all that jazz. but stay tuned and i'll let you know.

I broke her heart. now i guess it's her turn to break mine.

this darkness isn't comforting tonight. the gray skies say it all. there are dark clouds in the sky. there are clouds in my head. there's darkness in my heart. i guess im just getting payback. Karma and all that. let me tell you, it fucking sucks. when this darkness leaves, it might take her with it. i've been lost so much this past year and she was my compass. staring me in the right path. but how can my heart find it's way back to a place that feels like home when it doesn't even know where to find the compass. She was going to be my slow song. my acoustic. the one that people just might call a love song. even though now it's the total opposite of that. how can i expect the world to figure me out when i don't even understand the girl i used to call my best friend? i don't know what the fuck im gona do about it.

for once im not getting worried about breaking another heart. i'll be gone before that can happen.
things never seem to fall apart when you spend a lot of time focusing on yourself and your flaws. It's only when you start to slip away from that.

<3