Call me a fake. Call me a hypocrite. I just ran away from my main problem. I couldn't take it all. It wasn't so much that I was really homesick, It was that I didn't enjoy the actual program. That I didn't make any friends. That I didn't meet anyone into the same type of music im into. It's so odd, you see some many people at shows, and artist sell millions of records. But sometimes it's so hard to just find one other fan besides yourself. I actually liked the city. I don't know if I'd live there one day. It's hard to find a place to escape to. Three years and I'm still searching for a place to call home.
I don't know what's going to happen to me. I realized the odds of actually becoming a musician in a band, and making it. Maybe that won't ever happen, maybe it will. But I will be surrounding myself in something I love. And I wasn't exactly doing that. There were too many different styles and ways about going about things up there. I need to find my own right here. Feel somewhat solid with it, so I'll be able to go off to college. I hope I don't just end up wasting the next 5-6 weeks. I hope I make something out of my time.
Off to bed, and yes I asked the boogieman; he's found his comfortable place under my bed.
Besides, in the city, you can't see the stars
<3
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