Awkward Mornings are the one's alone

I have dreams every night if i don't write before i fall asleep and if I don't listen to a specific cd while i'm falling asleep. When I wake up, unexpected things are filling my mind. My heart doesn't know what to do. But my mind, it's always thinking about some one it shouldn't be. And by that, I don't mean you; because in my fucked up world, it's still ok to think about you. I turn over and close my eyes, I'm not ready for any of this yet. "5 more minutes", as I beg my brain to think about someone else. and it never works. I'm not ready for today. I'm sitting in bed with the shades shut. The only light is coming for this screen. I don't want to start today. I want to go back to sleep. Don't you get it? This is me trying to move on. This is me moving and hour and a half away, being in college and staying busy. But when I wake up, the only thing I feel comfortable thinking about it you. I'm sorry, hate me for it. Sometimes I wish it was something else too. "all you need is love" But I'm still searching for mine. I'm sitting at the lighthouse waiting for the beam to guide you back to me. Or bring something that just might cure me from all of this. But every flash just shows me what's ahead of me in this life. Nothing.


I asked to go to a land where I wouldn't think of you; the directions they gave me led me to a city where every old feeling from my town is hiding in between the cracks on the road I walk at night.
<3