sometimes being happy just makes me miss being sad so much

i herd that earlier this week a kid killed himself up here. jumped off a bridge they say "one does it every year" it just kid of sets me back. i think about how many times that could've (should've) been me. as i walk over the bridge i look down. not today i think in my head. i wish i had met that kid. i hope that someday in my pathetic life i stop someone from doing that (suicide). Then, and only, maybe just maybe then. I could forgive myself. I hate how nothing up here reminds me of my past. Nothing yet anyway. Sometimes I like to just think about the past. The day I thought I got you out of my head, you just ran straight to my heart. lets go to the tallest building and jump. we'll race our fears to the ground. It's the only way we won't get have to ever live without one another. im the leaf and you're the water. you can stay for a little while. but sooner or later you will move on to other places. and then im most likely to just fall to the ground. will life change? saw my shadow beating me to my future. push the button and sound the alarm. listen for the sirens as they get louder and louder. The boy stands there and watches and the police and paramedics are rushing out and running towards him as the fire truck comes down the street. "There's no emergency here," the boy says, "I just needed to know that somebody is willing to save me. Thanks," He says has he walks away.

I'll be back in the town i grew up in tomm. I'm trying to not call it home anymore, because I've realized that it isn't one to me. See the old faces and bring back the new fake smiles and awkward feelings of never quite fitting in. But at least down there, people actually know me a good amount. I can't say that about anyone up here yet.
Go count up the money you have right now.
And then go give it to charity.
Or just do something good.
Show somebody you're willing to save them.
<3