"we want to be remembered for doing something heroic. Heroic in who's eyes though?

On the drive back up here, there was an ambulance fallowing me for quite a few miles. It eventually passed me, but It was in viewing distance for awhile after that also. I'll let you make the metaphor for that on your own. I just kind of liked the bright lights.
Most of my friends will never miss me as much as I miss them. Or be as happy to see me as I am to see them. I know I feel alone sometimes and that is the reason that I hold people closer. But I can't help to not really feel wanted when I only get half hearted half smiles.

I think I understand why everyone likes college. The years are planned out for you, and you always have a place to escape and runaway to. If your at college, you can go back to your hometown when things get bad. If you are there, you can think about college and how soon you'll be back there. It supposed to teach us how to grow up, but how? By getting us use to moving back and forth in between two places that aren't even that great to us? We pick something we tell ourselves we might like to do; and 4 years of doing things we don't really want to are set up for us. Is it really that great? Personally I think the whole system is really fucked up. But hey, I'm part of it right now until I figure out a better path.
In order to take your own path, or the path "less traveled" you have to start out alone.
I just wrote that for me. Stamp it to my forehead so every time I look in the mirror and try to figure out who I am, I can remember what I need to do to become who I should be. I'm settling for mediocrity. Just like half or America; and down the road, I'll divorce my future and trade it in for a second one that might be better. Or maybe by that time I'd have just forgotten all of this.
I could show you what love is. I could make you feel safe again. I could make you feel whatever it was before any of the shit started in your life. I can give you the most comforting feeling you'll ever know. I write the words that will make all of the pain temporarily disappear. My arms can be that place where you can always run to when you need to know everything will work out just fine. I could show you what love is. I could, if the distance between us was closer.
(you never know who I'm writing about. its my secret that I keep to myself, cause I need something. its my secret. Don't share yours. it's how we die faster)

<3