The past few times I've woken up without writing and/or listening to music before i go to sleep, I've had bad dreams. Not necessarily nightmares; but just bad dreams. Dreams the put me in a lousy mood when I wake up. Dreams that have me thinking about things I probably shouldn't be. It's not comforting. The only thing it makes feel right is pulling up the shade and seeing a rainy day ahead of me.
I've realized that I don't want to let go of you, because you're a part of my life wether or not you want to be. As much as you weren't a great friend at all; all those times I thought you were listening and caring weren't a complete waste. I realized and found out a lot about myself. I changed in a few ways, and started to adapt to pain and feeling lonely. You hurt me so much, but I guess in a way you've helped me to. By doing nothing. You have me so curious all the time. I wonder if you'll change. If there really is a bigger picture for you. I considered you my best friend, but I didn't even know your biggest secret. Is it cause you didn't even know it? I'm still attached to you. It can be bad or it can be good; but its happening. Who knows. I just had to get this off my chest so I could get out of bed this morning. I'm sorry if it doesn't make a lot of sense.
<3
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