feeling lost and lonely everyday and every night. but i'm getting through them. you really have to push away everything and everyone to do what you want to some times. it's hard to do. wish i could just escape for a few days with nothing but this laptop, my notebooks, and headphones. lay under the stars at night. think about everything and then think again.
this cd has made me realize that when we broke up, afterwards... there were times i did feel completely hopeless. times that my first love was really pretty much dead to me.
think about that. then maybe you can start to understand me.
but i guess all i'd like to die with is having more figured out about myself then anyone else has figured out about me. cause that's what im trying to do the most here. with all of this. figure me out.
i hope i don't fuck up yet another friendship. so far, looking for love the same place i look for comfort, sympathy and sorrow hasn't worked for me. i can look at it as, i'll always care too much rather than too little. but i dont want to fuck up somebody else's life. i dont want to get too close. i want to feel like this. until true love comes back, or until i die.
Go buy Hawthrone Heights new cd right now. I dont give a shit what you're doing, or what time it is. There's a fucking 24 hour wall mart around you somewhere. Just be nice to the underpaid people working there. or if your not, at least make a video and put it on youtube so the rest of us can laugh.
<3
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