Where are you now?

in ten days i wont be around anyone i know. i wont have a close attachment to anyone. all i will do is think about the past. about my first love and how i lost is. and about the person i at one time called my best friend who, i feel, completely fucked me over. i will hopefully write a lot. songs will form. but they're actually only poetry. songs require music. and that's only in my head.

if you subtract .1% from love, i think i can describe how i feel about you.
i care so much. i care enough. if you think it's possible to care to much, then im the man to study and find out. im the one to test. cause i dont lie when id say i would die in a heart beat for you. its not completely caring though. dont think its all so sweet. i mean, part of the reason i would is just because i have no reason to live. i dont really feel worth it. everyday i kill my potential. what do you think about in the morning when you first wake up? the moon sifts the tides, but what about the blood in my heart? is it not getting enough, or maybe too much. im never going to be good for anything. either way.
no matter how much i help, if i hurt once, i feel like i've failed. myself and you.
because i know how much of a difference that one chance could make in a life.

all i want to do is help and figure out myself
all i want to do is help and hurt people
i guess its the same thing

we are a magnet. sometimes we attract each other. sometimes one of us will switch a side, and just push away the other person. it will always happen this way. it can't change. it's a fact.
<3